I’ve been here for two and a half weeks now. They have gone by fast and at the same time it feels like I’ve been here forever. They have been up and they have been down. I have met some great people and I have had some great times. Right now six months seem like a very long time though. I have the feeling that I have enough places in my place bank, I don’t have any space left in me to fall in love with yet another place. There are three places I physically ache to be in right now:
I thought coming here, having the sea just next to me, the similar climate and working in tourism, I would miss Greece less, I would feel more at home. I was wrong. It makes me miss Crete more. It feels like I grasped for gold and caught silver. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful here, I’m all for new experiences and adventures and I knew it wouldn’t be the same. I just miss home. It’s been two years since I was there. It’s way too long. Hersonissos, Crete will always be my heart’s home. And I just need to go home and smell the smells, see the colours – the pink bougainvillea, the turquoise sea, the white houses. I need to walk up and down the little alleys in the warm, dark evenings and think. I need to taste real tomatoes, cucumber, yoghurt, menthe, oregano, feta cheese, fish, olive oil, wine. I need to see the villages where I grew up. I need to be in my comfort zone. Between the mountains and the sea. With people who knew me pre Sweden. With people who knew and loved my father. It actually hurts, that’s how much I miss it.
Since I first stepped foot there in 2006 I have been in love with this village. Having been there three seasons in a row (winter-summer-winter) it has really become a part of me. I love being there. I love waking up, looking out my window and be surrounded by mountains. Wether green or white, they make my heart skip a beat and my breathing heavier every time. I can never get used to their magnificence. I feel truly blessed to have Alpbach in my life. Complete with all the lovely people that live there or come and go like me. It has bewitched me. Strangely enough I can actually see myself settling down there one day. I certainly know that I can never live without it again and that I want nothing more than a chance to go to Dorffest and get some weeks there without work, with friends to climb some mountains and drink some wine in the alp summer nights.
3. My childhood
The one place that i can never go back to. The one place that I always wish I could visit again. Hersonissos may still be my heart’s home, but it will never be the same as it was in the 90’s. I will never be a child again. I will never put two chairs together next to my mother at the restaurant and fall asleep knowing that she will carry me home when the time comes. I will never again think that getting a helium balloon is the greatest joy in the world. I will never sit in my father’s lap again. Go to kindergarten and run around pretending flowers and stones are food. Completely rely on other people to fix everything for me, make me feel secure. I get the feeling so often that I want to be a child again. I had the best childhood anyone could ask for. I grew up in Hersonissos in it’s golden days with all the best people. I can never have it back, but no one can take it away from me either. I just wish I could visit it sometimes.
Here’s a little reminder I found in a phone booth in Hersonissos:
(The more you look back, the less you go forward! ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD!)
Note to self.
But, I’m not complaining. This is something I need to do. I will be in Hersonissos, Norrköping, Göteborg, Alpbach, London, places that i feel at home, before I know it. And I will be one experience richer! I wish you all a summer rich with new experiences, sun and love.